Winter has finally departed. Open up the car windows, break out the sunglasses, and throw out the sweaters. It's time for spring clothes! And judging from my quick stroll through the store yesterday that seems to mean the same old classics - zippered capris, bright tank tops, and the ever popular low cut shirts.
I snagged a cute v-necked belted top yesterday that I thought was very appropriate for work. This morning I threw on some brown pants and some strappy black shoes and I was feeling quite "springy". This lasted for approximately 5 minutes until I bent over to pick up the newspaper at work and exposed a good portion of my girls to whoever happened to be walking down the hall. From then on, it was a delicate balance of looking "cute" and looking frankly pornographic. The problem with low cut shirts is that they properly fit maybe 1% of the female population. The other 99% of us spend the day on constant boob patrol. Which usually isn't a problem seeing as 99% of the male population also seem to become instantly on boob patrol as well when a low cut shirt is in the room. If you look up to find a male stopped in mid step staring at you like you were the last Hershey Kiss in the candy dish, chances are he will be staring at the low cut shirt and not (sadly) at the really cool new Encyclopedia of Philosophy set you are cataloging. After eight hours of pulling and tugging, I am more then happy to report that low cut shirt is back in the closet replaced by a not low cut t-shirt purchased when I was still young enough to get carded. That would also be back when I was still young enough to actually go out to clubs on a Friday night instead of staying at home in a t-shirt watching "Flight of the Conchords" reruns. Sigh.
Congratulations cute low cut shirt, you are my irritation of the day....but you are awfully cute so I'm sure we'll meet again.