Friday, May 23, 2008

Discovery of the Day: The Stache is Back

Weezer just came out with a video for their brand new song "Pork and Beans". Great song. Great band. Pretty cool video. If you like Weezer chances are you are slightly nerdy but think you are cool. If you are slightly nerdy and think you are cool chances are you watch a ton of YouTube videos. If you watch a ton of YouTube videos and like Weezer you will be in a state of giddy delight over this video.

Despite all that is going on in the video though I can't get over Rivers Cuomo's moustache. How can you not be transfixed by it. Seems like more and more cool guys are sporting staches (Brendan Flowers from the Killers, Jemaine from Flight of the Conchords). I ask you this seriously gentlemen. WHY?!? Is it supposed to be ironic? I appreciate the commentary but I have to say, the staches are pretty repellent. Please do us a favor and bury this new fad. You are geekishly cool just the way you are.

Sunday, May 18, 2008

Discovery of the Day: Maybe my Paranoia is Justified!

So I did wind up watching the "7 Ways the World Might Be Destroyed" documentary last night. Fortunately I missed the bottom 4 so I mananaged to stave off a few paranoid thoughts last night. So here are the top 3 ways the world might soon be destroyed:

#3) Nuclear War - at this point probably unintentional (though with the kooks in office who knows these days). For example, Russia's surveillance equipment may faultily show that we have sent an attack. They have to react within 15 minutes so they counterattack. Before anyone can realize it was all a technical error half the world is destroyed causing further mayhem that leads to overall destruction. YEAH!

#2) Germs/Bacteria - This really freaked me out. Understandably there are strains of viruses that can't be controlled (as in the monster flu I thought was killing me in February) but then there is the whole other matter of terrorists using technology to research deadly viruses and then planting infectants out in the civilized world. So now I want to walk around with a face mask and load up on canned goods in the event it's already begun!

#1) Global Warming/Climate Change - Of course! And the beautiful kicker that was repeatedly stated as sweet music played atop shots of cuddly polar bears and arctic tundras is that we are doing this to ourselves as we speak. The ice caps are going to melt. The sea level is going to rise displacing millions of people. Areas that aren't under water will suffer drought and the world will plunge headlong into civil unrest as everyone fights to capture the last of the resources. But Al Gore says we won't be totally screwed if we just start riding bikes and recycling. I don't know kids. I'm thinking of finding myself a high mountain and setting up camp.

The odd part is that I scoffed a bit at the extreme climate changes that the scientists say are occuring. I mean, can't we just say that the extreme weather is just random and will even out over the course of time? Then today I am sitting at home and start hearing a racket outside my door. It is raining incredibly hard and (as I discover in my mad dash to close the sunroof on my car) bits of hale are falling from the sky and bouncing off everything. OK Nature! I get it! You win. We screwed you over. I am a believer!

And in case that wasn't's a littler docu-blurb about what will happen to your body if we all get sucked into a black hole. Happy Sunday!

Saturday, May 17, 2008

Discovery of the Day: Movie Rentals Are Flipping Expensive

So I was supposed to go to a friend's graduation party today but decided to stay at home instead because a) I have a sore throat, b) the party is a bonfire, c) it's supposed to rain all night long, and d) I don't feel like being wet, snotty, and miserable all night long. I'm a bad friend. I admit it. Instead, I decided to get a frozen pizza and curl up at home with a good movie and my loyal cat. It's been about two years since I went to a video store to buy a movie because I always get them free at the public library. I just happened to have no movies come in this week so I decided to be frivilous and go to Blockbuster. I figured I would get a few movies so I could make a night of it. I asked the nice lady who worked there how much the new releases were. $3.71 per movie!! When did that happen?!? Am I just a cheap old woman now or does that not seem really expensive. I might as well go to an actual movie theater for that much money! Needless to say, being the poor woman I am I only got one movie. The History Channel has a feature tonight on seven ways the world may die so I think I'll curl up and get myself paranoid instead. I'll keep you updated on my best apocalyptic theory...though death by chocolate would be my preference. "And lo the skies opened and spewed forth torrents of dark chocolate that did cover the planet smothering all in it's delicious goodness."

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Discovery of the Day: New Flight of the Conchords Video

Happy Day! There's a new video from my favorite New Zealanders, Bret and Jemaine. The guys are sporting some old school roller skates and kickass polyester in a new version of "Ladies of the World". How could any lady resist a man who can do a split on wheels? Even though Jemaine looks a little too effective as a 70's dude with that big mustache and fluffy hair I still think he's motherflipping adorable. Love em!

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Discovery of the Day: I'm Over Hillary Clinton is where I get a little irritated. I understand that we are in one of the biggest marches to the presidential nomination in decades if not in a lifetime. I followed the nomination processes when they all started. I went and voted in Ohio for a nominee. I believe in being informed about the process. For God's sake, I worked as a voting booth peon for 13 hours straight a few years ago with 108 year old women. I get it. But I'm so sick of the bid for the Democratic nomination I could scream. I turned on tv last week to get information about the hundreds dead in Myanmar and all I get is analysis of Barack. I turned on my tv last night to get information about the hundreds dead in China and all I get is a bunch of people excitedly saying that Hilary is going to win West Virgina. And all I can think is "SHUT UP!!!!" There are more important things to focus on in this world that do not involve super delegates in any way. Can we not switch the focus a little so that we don't become this monotonous drone of unsurprising information.

Here is why I'm over Hilary Clinton. I don't necessarily have anything against her. I went to a Barack speech a few months ago and, though I found him very inspiring, I do have my doubts about him as well so I'm not a die hard Obama fan either. But if Hilary cares so much about this country, if she cares so much about the working class people like she says she does, why doesn't she give up. Does it shows she has "pluck" to go on even in the face of surely unsurmountable obstacles? Sure it does. It'd make for a great Lifetime movie. But lets look at all the people who are supporting her, who are giving her thousands of dollars to finance her dramatic drive that will end in her saying "Gosh golly, we sure did try!" How about saying that now and saving these working class people the money it would cost to drive to her rallies. At $4 a gallon, that could feed a family for a month! I'm frustrated to see once more how the "working" people are duped into supporting political machines that lead nowhere. If you love your country, then admit you tried and stop wasting everyone's time and money. Maybe then I can actually watch CNN for some actual news instead of disgustedly turning the channel and being forced into another episode of "The Hills". No one wants that.

Saturday, May 10, 2008

Discovery of the Day : Getting In Shape Only Slightly Less Painful Than Death

There were about two seconds in the mid-80's when I was actually in good shape spurred on by a mix of Jane Fonda, bad self-esteem, and a near total lack of food consumption. OK..maybe "good shape" may be pushing it what with the near anorexia and all but at least I could do some mean running kicks while wearing my hot pink leg warmers. Since then I discovered that food was my friend as was my couch, pajama pants, and any entertainment that involved sitting for long periods of time. Jane would not be proud.

But fear not Jane for the new, more self aware Theresa has come to the conclusion that it is time to get her butt off the couch and get in leopard print leotard wearing shape once more - or as close as a 33 year gal who still loves cheese curls can get. What this means for me? Less trips to the fast food counter and more trips to the dreaded treadmill (formerly known as "clothes I decided not to wear today" holder). For the past few weeks I have stepped up my game. Commiting to at least half an hour four times a week. I have worked up to running for an entire mile...not at once mind you but I figure an entire mile within 20 minutes is pretty good for this couch potato. Today I stepped it up even more and decided to run further and faster. I was feeling good. Listening to Matthew Good aka "my future husband" on the CD player. Throwing in some jazz hands for upper body work. And then it hit. Stomach cramps. Could it be that I have running cramps? The kind you see marathon runners get when they are puking on the side of the road after mile 35? And I'm getting them after less than a mile and a half? It appears I was. Which then led to about five minutes bent over my computer chair in massive pain cursing this whole "getting healthy" decision.

One day I will hopefully sit back and laugh at this entry as I sip my wheatgrass shake in my size 2 hotpants but until than I have concluded that getting in shape sucks. It sucks hard!! And the fact I have to get up tomorrow and get on the dreaded treadmill yet again sucks the hardest of all.

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Discovery of the Day: I Don't "Get" One Hundred Years of Solitude

Ok...I get it. I just don't "get" the "get" everyone else is "getting".

I recently grabbed a copy of Gabriel Garcia Marquez's supposedly earth shatteringly brilliant novel One Hundred Years of Solitude from our library collection to amuse myself while hiding from students during my lunch break. I'd been wanting to read it for a while since I'd seen it on every modern classic Top 10 list forever. I briefly hesitated when I saw the cover was bedazzled with an Oprah Book Club Choice sticker. I have delved into the murky waters of the Oprah Book Club before and it is a somber world indeed. But I gave it the benefit of the doubt as I ripped open the corner of my Ranch Doritos. Alright...starting out good. A little modern day mythology. Lots of crazy characters. Forging a new beginning in a savage land. I can dig it. After a few more days worth of p b & j sandwiches I started feeling a heaviness descend upon me. Is it just me or does this book sorta suck? I get the whole history repeating itself theme, I do. But, Good Lord, how many depressed men named Aureliano can a girl keep track of? How many dead ghosts can walk through the house reciting long lost Sanskrit passages? How many times can incestous relationships pop up before you start saying "ewww!"? It just all seemed like a big chaotic blur of dysfunctional family drama enough to keep Jerry Springer in business for decades.

Far be it from me to disagree with all the critics who claim this book is singlehandedly the savior of modern literature. Maybe y'all are seeing something I don't. But for now, I just don't "get" it. Oprah strikes again!!

Sunday, May 4, 2008

Discovery of the Day: Coldplay Doesn't Suck Live

I've had my doubts. I've seen clips of Coldplay live before and have gauged them high on the cringe factor. There's something about a sensitive singer/songwriter with a high voice that really can go either way. If it's good, it's good. If it's bad I want to put my head in the oven and spare us both the humiliation of hearing more. I've been on the fence with Coldplay as well. I really like some of their songs and others..well..I just kinda want to sit Chris Martin down and tell him he doesn't have to use a rhyming dictionary when he writes his lyrics. Then again, I'm a broke librarian and he's rolling around in piles of money so what do I know. I have to say though, this clip from their 2003 Live DVD is very addictive. Nice and simple...and not TOO rhymey (is that a word? And what does IT rhyme with? Limey? Get on that Mr. Martin.)

So I tip my hat to Coldplay today. You don't suck live. Kudos.

Saturday, May 3, 2008

Discovery of the Day: I'm Movin On

As opposed to Movin' Out by Billy Joel. Though I must say, I saw Billy in concert a few years back and he's still the man...despite the fact he kept humping his piano all night long. Not sure what that was about.

Anyhoo..I digress. My discovery of the day is that I have officially moved on. I met a group of former coworkers last night for drinks after having left my workplace earlier this year. Previous to leaving, I had fallen into that rut that we all get into after working at any place for a long time - talking about work whenever more than one person is gathered as your blood pressure rises and your heart races and you get progressively more pissed off over such things as a faulty postage machine. It got to the point prior to leaving that if I thought about some things too long I thought I might actually spontaneously explode. As I walked out the door my final day, I wondered how I would feel about the place that had taken up so much of my time for a good portion of my adult life. Sitting at the table watching former co-workers carrying on with the same old conversations I realized that I officially don't care. Not that I don't care about the place or the people. The place and (a few of) the people will still hold a special place in my heart but it no longer belongs to me. I've moved on to a whole new bunch of people and places and undoubtedly future problems. And I love it!

So go ahead and rock out with your fro Billy cause I'm raising a glass to my former frustrations. May they rest in peace.