Saturday, May 10, 2008

Discovery of the Day : Getting In Shape Only Slightly Less Painful Than Death

There were about two seconds in the mid-80's when I was actually in good shape spurred on by a mix of Jane Fonda, bad self-esteem, and a near total lack of food consumption. OK..maybe "good shape" may be pushing it what with the near anorexia and all but at least I could do some mean running kicks while wearing my hot pink leg warmers. Since then I discovered that food was my friend as was my couch, pajama pants, and any entertainment that involved sitting for long periods of time. Jane would not be proud.

But fear not Jane for the new, more self aware Theresa has come to the conclusion that it is time to get her butt off the couch and get in leopard print leotard wearing shape once more - or as close as a 33 year gal who still loves cheese curls can get. What this means for me? Less trips to the fast food counter and more trips to the dreaded treadmill (formerly known as "clothes I decided not to wear today" holder). For the past few weeks I have stepped up my game. Commiting to at least half an hour four times a week. I have worked up to running for an entire mile...not at once mind you but I figure an entire mile within 20 minutes is pretty good for this couch potato. Today I stepped it up even more and decided to run further and faster. I was feeling good. Listening to Matthew Good aka "my future husband" on the CD player. Throwing in some jazz hands for upper body work. And then it hit. Stomach cramps. Could it be that I have running cramps? The kind you see marathon runners get when they are puking on the side of the road after mile 35? And I'm getting them after less than a mile and a half? It appears I was. Which then led to about five minutes bent over my computer chair in massive pain cursing this whole "getting healthy" decision.

One day I will hopefully sit back and laugh at this entry as I sip my wheatgrass shake in my size 2 hotpants but until than I have concluded that getting in shape sucks. It sucks hard!! And the fact I have to get up tomorrow and get on the dreaded treadmill yet again sucks the hardest of all.

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