Sunday, May 18, 2008

Discovery of the Day: Maybe my Paranoia is Justified!

So I did wind up watching the "7 Ways the World Might Be Destroyed" documentary last night. Fortunately I missed the bottom 4 so I mananaged to stave off a few paranoid thoughts last night. So here are the top 3 ways the world might soon be destroyed:

#3) Nuclear War - at this point probably unintentional (though with the kooks in office who knows these days). For example, Russia's surveillance equipment may faultily show that we have sent an attack. They have to react within 15 minutes so they counterattack. Before anyone can realize it was all a technical error half the world is destroyed causing further mayhem that leads to overall destruction. YEAH!

#2) Germs/Bacteria - This really freaked me out. Understandably there are strains of viruses that can't be controlled (as in the monster flu I thought was killing me in February) but then there is the whole other matter of terrorists using technology to research deadly viruses and then planting infectants out in the civilized world. So now I want to walk around with a face mask and load up on canned goods in the event it's already begun!

#1) Global Warming/Climate Change - Of course! And the beautiful kicker that was repeatedly stated as sweet music played atop shots of cuddly polar bears and arctic tundras is that we are doing this to ourselves as we speak. The ice caps are going to melt. The sea level is going to rise displacing millions of people. Areas that aren't under water will suffer drought and the world will plunge headlong into civil unrest as everyone fights to capture the last of the resources. But Al Gore says we won't be totally screwed if we just start riding bikes and recycling. I don't know kids. I'm thinking of finding myself a high mountain and setting up camp.

The odd part is that I scoffed a bit at the extreme climate changes that the scientists say are occuring. I mean, can't we just say that the extreme weather is just random and will even out over the course of time? Then today I am sitting at home and start hearing a racket outside my door. It is raining incredibly hard and (as I discover in my mad dash to close the sunroof on my car) bits of hale are falling from the sky and bouncing off everything. OK Nature! I get it! You win. We screwed you over. I am a believer!

And in case that wasn't's a littler docu-blurb about what will happen to your body if we all get sucked into a black hole. Happy Sunday!

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